Amazon.uk.co just emailed me to let me know that my order of “Hands of Evil” by author Melissa Barker-Simpson has been “dispatched”

Dispatched.

How cool is that?

I mean, you Brits are so awesome with your English all proper-like…

It’s like getting a little bit of Downton Abbey delivered right to my inbox.

Speaking of Downton Abbey, what’s up with that show? I mean, is it some secret Brit MI6 diversion of a programme encoded with mind altering signals that make us fixate like drooling subservient servants on this most unlikely of a stuffy hit so they can go about putting their Empire of Old back in order without our realizing it?

I mean, I cannot get enough of this show…

And I’m not even sure why.

But I am sure of the massive irony in it all, all us oh so democratic and ultra egalitarian Americans lusting over one of the most autocratic and subservient ways of existence.

Well, lusting after the “upstairs” lifestyle, anyway.

Why would we want to lust after the “downstairs” way of life? It’s pretty much how most of us are already living.

No, we want to be lords and ladies…

Strike that.

We want to be kings and queens

Come on. Admit it.

You’d wear that crown in a royal heartbeat.

I mean who wouldn’t want to be king and/or queen of his or/and her castle. And I’m not only speaking metaphorically here either.

All bow down before King Kurt!

Has a nice ring to it…

Just yesterday I was checking out the wonderful site of author M-R, and she has a beautiful post that shows a black-and-white photo of castle ruins somewhere in France as a representation of an expression of abandonment. It’s just a short post but it moved me and got me to thinking about how much more wonderful a place the US would be if we had our own ancient castles and castle ruins.

Man…

Anyway…

Heck, I don’t even know what Amazon US says when it “dispatches” an order to me…

Obviously, if I can’t recall it, it’s nothing as noteworthy and awesome as “dispatched.”

Probably something like, “Hey pal, did you just order something from us? Yeah, well, see here’s the thing. It just got shipped out…”

I don’t know…

I mean, I love my land and my people and all, but sometimes we can be a little rough around the edges, if you know what I mean.

Yeah…

Dispatched…

Royal awesomeness.

 

King Kurt

 
 

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About Kurt Brindley

He is tall but he hopes to accomplish more in life than just that...
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18 Responses to Amazon.uk.co just emailed me to let me know that my order of “Hands of Evil” by author Melissa Barker-Simpson has been “dispatched”

  1. The Brits. They’re so, ah, civil.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Laura L. says:

    Your bit about “dispatch” versus “Hey pal…” reminded me of one of my favorite The Oatmeal cartoons: http://theoatmeal.com/pl/minor_differences4/accents

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I could wallow in this all day long! Why? I’m a Brit living in Oregon! :-) But trust me, when it comes to examples of being a little rough around the edges, we Brits taught you Americans how to do it! ;-)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah, I know. I’ve seen “Snatch”…about a million times. Love that flick.

      Oregon? How the heck did you go from the land of prim and proper princes to that of hordes of hippies and all their highness…

      Oregon…
      :)

      Like

      • Long story! Essentially via Mexico, Arizona and thence to Oregon! Sorry, I’m being tricky! ;-)

        I was invited to spend Christmas 2007 with American friends in San Carlos, Mx., and met Jean who had been living there for many years with her American husband, who had died in 2005. Jean and I fell in love, big time, and I went out there in 2008 with my German Shepherd dog, Pharaoh, he of my blog’s home page. We both moved to Payson, Arizona and were married and then, quite by chance, we found a ‘bank-owned’ property in rural Merlin, OR, put in a silly offer and it was accepted! Been here two years and it’s paradise! :-)

        Oh, nearly forgot. Jean and I were both born in London, some twenty-three miles apart!

        Like

  4. Tieme says:

    Haha fantastic article Kurt! Oh sorry, His Royal Highness! I love the UK, but honestly, British people aren’t always that proper ;-) I have drank lots of alcohol with some good lads, and loved it. But there are quite bad places, like in Manchester, Liverpool and even London.

    Happy reading!

    Kind regards,
    Tieme

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This has to be one of the funniest posts I’ve read in a good while. I don’t even acknowledge the dispatch emails because I see them so often, and now I’m really curious about what the US version says. It’s a funny word – dispatched; in all it’s variant forms. As for Downton, it never ceases to amaze me how big it is in America. I don’t like the show very much, and I get the feeling you might be right…perhaps you’re all being brainwashed…a creepy thought for Halloween week! The Brits and our stiff upper lip. There are so many things we like about your fine country though. Things like ‘have a nice day’ and the like. Most of the time, when we’re being served in a café or restaurant, the staff glare at us with a face as dark as thunder and you sometimes wonder if they’ve spit in your coffee :-)

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I’ve had a few books “dispatched” from Amazon.uk. And a few pairs of shoes dispatched from hotter.com, as well. I was trying to remember if the Folio Society “sent”, “shipped” or “dispatched” books to us when we belonged. “The Economist” simply says the subscription will “arrive” or be “delivered” which is a bit boring for such a witty magazine.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Pingback: HANDS OF EVIL – The Big Reveal! | Kurt Brindley

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