Short version – No.

Less short version – A big fat ontological and/or (your choice) existential, HAYULL NO!

Look, Poet (and by Poet I mean it to include all Writers and all Artists and all Photographers and all Tree House Interior Designers and all…heck, I guess to me a Poet is just about any daydreaming Creator of the Sublime one could possibly imagine, regardless the flavor) I don’t mean to wax philosophical on your poetically waxing arse, but in my world (which, in my world, is the only world that really matters), if you’re more than two clicks of the mouse away from me, then you, my insecure little dream drawer, are dead to me.

Wait, if you don’t exist to begin with, then is it still possible for you to be dead to me?

Oh boy*, this philosophical stuff can get philosophically fuzzy real fast…

So, what do you say we just take a quick sidestep around that descartianly dangerous detour we were about to head down…

Besides, it just wouldn’t be rational within the context of me trying to save and secure your irrationally insecure existence within the existence of my irrationally insecure world, which, I believe I already indicated most redundantly, is the only world that really matters.

Oh boy*…

So anyway, back to the safety of my shallow point of a “Pro” Tip, if I have to go even slightly out of my way to find you…


Just like that you disappear.

Look, for me, and by me I mean us, at least those of us who are out there, and by there I mostly mean in the WordPress Reader, practically 24/7 pounding the pavement and beating the bushes (Coming soon, my next confessional: If I could marry a Cliche I would) looking to be swept off our creative-seeking feet by you and all those Poets who wanna be like you…

But in order for you to be able to sweep me off my creative-seeking feet, I first must be able to recognize your existence, which means you need to be right there next to me, present and accounted for, ready to welcome me to your domain at a moment’s notice, night or day, rain or shine…(ah, my sexy and ubiquitous little cliches, where would I be without thee? Well, for starters, I just might be properly agented and published, perhaps…sigh)

(J/k…agents and publishers are for sissies)




As long as I’m in the WP Reader, it’s all good for the most part.

In there, I can find you and, if you compel me to do so, there are multiple links within the Reader that I can click that will bring me right like rain into your poetic domain.

Easy enough…

But finding you in the WP Reader is all a matter of luck. Posts are flowing fast through that stream, especially in the “Writing” tag where I mostly hang out.

I’d say chances of me finding you there within all that fanciful flotsam are pretty thin.

I guess I could find you if I were fortunate enough for you to find me first.

And now we’re starting to get closer to the quickly dulling point of this “Pro” Tip…

But we’re still not there yet.

Because even if you do visit my site the only way I’m going to know about it is if you “Like” or comment on one of my posts.

And what are the chances of that happening?

I’d say barely minimal if we were to take into account all the millions of WP Poets who are populating this proliferatingly populated planet.

But let’s say, for the argument’s sake — and for the merciful sake of me finally getting to the seemingly forever elusive point of this “Pro” Tip — that you did find me and “Like” and/or comment on one of my posts…

Then, yes, I would have proof of your existence in my Notification Archives, right?

Right. Of course, right. And that’s great and all…

At least for a short period of time.

Because as new notifications come in, the older ones get pushed farther and farther back into the forsaken and forgotten dustbin of digital history until finally…

You are “poof” no more…

And that makes me sad.

But, alas…

Alas, finally, alas…

Yay and hurrah, alas, we have finally arrived to the less than pointy tip of the Tip.

Um, excuse me, would you mind waking up now?


Alas, we have yet a tiny bit of evidence that may or may not prove that you do exist.

We have, alas, your gravatar picture located at the bottom of the post, where the “Likes” tend to gather.

And that, my patient Poet, is where I choose to go, prefer to go, to find you…


It is from there, that point of positivism where the gravatar representation of you exists, where you and I can hopefully begin to build a long-term friendly and collaborative relationship…

Or not…

You know, I like being “Liked.”

And I like to “Like” things that I like.

So, I hear you asking, why not put those “Likes” that I like so much together to find new friends and collaborators?


For me, that is the number one way that I like go about finding new friends and collaborators…by visiting the domains of those who were kind enough to visit my domain and “Like” one of my posts.

If you “Like”or comment on one of my posts or pages, I can guarantee there will come a day that I will want to return the kindness.

There will come the day when I will click on your gravatar photo and hope and pray like hayull to the Writing Gods that you have properly set up your Gravatar Account so I can find you, visit your domain of a website, and allow you to cast your creative magic of a spell all about me.

Because I do…I really do…want to read your words or marvel at your photography and/or artwork in whatever form in which it may exist.

I really really do.

But, chances are pretty good that there is a pretty good chance I won’t be able to find you…

Because, based upon my slightly more than casual observances, chances are pretty good that you haven’t fully…or even minimally…set up your gravatar profile.

And that makes me sad.

It makes me sad whenever I click on your profile to learn more about you and to ultimately visit your domain to like and to “Like” you, and when I get there I find, to my sad dismay, that you do not have your website linked there.

What is a boy* to do?

I mean, I could try doing a google search or try typing in your handle followed by .wordpress.com…

And I have tried that on occasion…

And on occasion it has worked.

But let’s face it, mostly when I find myself at a gravatar profile that doesn’t, at a minimum, have a website linked to it…

All I can do it back arrow my way back home, back to my domain…alone.

And that’s pretty sad.


So, to help keep me unsad, please please please go to gravatar.com, sign in with your WordPress.com account if you have one (and why wouldn’t you? all the cool people do…), create a new account if you don’t, and then set up your gravatar profile all proper-like so I can find you, and worship your creativity, and become happily unsad.

And, I admit, there are quite a few steps involved in this process — so many that I am not even going to begin to list them all — so I can understand why so many of you Poets have accounts that lead me to No where…to No one…to your non-existence.

But, I really believe that if you are serious about poeting seriously and getting your magic mojo in front of as many creative-seeking eyeballs as possibles, you really should invest the time and effort to set up a smoking hot gravatar profile.

And even if you aren’t interested in doing all the work required to get your profile to the smokin’ hot level, then please please please, at minimum, at least, link your WordPress.com website to the profile. You can you at least, at a minimum, do that for me?

Can’t you?


Then, when I click on your gravatar image at the bottom of one of my posts I will find more than just your pretty gravatar face…

I will find a link to your website…

Thereby, I will find a link to you…

And a way to validate your existence.


Philosophical poetry…



Here are a couple screenshots to give you an example of what’s involved in setting up your gravatar profile (click to enlarge)…


Now, I don’t know if my gravatar profile is smoking’ hot or not but I do know I have done my darnedest to take advantage of all the Gravatar options possible to make it as tight and professional-looking as possible, and as easy as possible for you to find me…

And by doing so, you, with your kindness and your favor, will validate my existence…

And that truly makes me unsad.



*non-gender specific




  1. First of all, THIS: “For me, that is the number one way that I like go about finding new friends and collaborators…by visiting the domains of those who were kind enough to visit my domain and “Like” one of my posts.

    If you “Like”or comment on one of my posts or pages, I can guarantee there will come a day that I will want to return the kindness.”

    That’s what I do. It is also the reason I’m not following 10,482.7 blogs. If I follow, I read. If I read I’ll comment or at least like, at least more than 50% of the time. I’m pushing the max now.

    And…oh…crap. I have a Gravatar. Kept meaning to fill out the profile but did I? :::scampers off to look::::

    Liked by 1 person

      1. But of course. And after that amazing comment you left on my first story, I’ll be a fan grrrl forevah. (I’m so easy.) Thanks, for the Gravatar reminder. I did have one but I just spiffied it up a bit. I’m torn about putting an email addy there though. I have a bazillion gmail accounts (long story) so I suppose burning one wouldn’t be so bad but, ugh, spam and trolls. Any thoughts? I don’t need it on my blog for business purposes. It ain’t like anyone is going to hire me via the thing.


  2. Somehow my “about” from my blog got on my gravatar page, but I don’t remember putting it there. Your 1500+ entertaining words of entertainment are 1500+ reasons why I don’t bother with things like gravatars. If it picks up my about info all on it’s own, great. But adding websites, and show casing of my art, ways to connect and all that? Forget it — it’s way too much trouble.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Dude, I know it’s “way too much trouble” and all but I really wish you would link your site to your gravatar profile. Every time I want to visit your awesome site to check out your awesome photography I always have to find a post that you commented on so I can link to it from there just because I have a way less than awesome memory and I can’t seem to memorize your site address. Anyway, I guess I could call you on the phone since your gravatar profile lists your phone number. That’s handy. ;)


  3. So I read your post and I must say I think I confused the hell out of myself. I do have a Gravatar page but I don’t know if I did anything with it. Thanks for reminding me. Let’s see if I remember to update my profile. I forget all the time because of all the books that I’m reading. Anyways, thanks for the helpful tips.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I didn’t realize we could do anything with the Gravatar page. Nor do I know why it has to be maintained separately from the WP pages, but maybe that’s for WP’s FAQ or something.

    But thanks for the reminder to look at it and see that, oh! I guess there are some things to do?

    I could have sworn I had a general blurb about my account, but did not. I actually have three blogs/sites because they serve different purposes. Each of their home pages have links to the others, at least.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, good questions. I guess it might be separate so others who do not have a wp account can also create a gravatar account. Just a guess though.

      So if you want, you can also link your 3 sites to your gravatar profile…or any other sites as well. I have my fb and my amazon author’s page linked.


  5. “Less short version?” You are the master of understatement! ;) After reading all of that, I am still stuck on one thing you said–if I don’t exist in your world, I don’t exist–I’m dead to you. How can that be? I’m here, ready for discovery. I know what you mean, kind of. Well, maybe I don’t. Just because I don’t see the elephants plodding across the Savannah, it doesn’t mean they don’t exist…Maybe I need to have another cup of tea… ;)


  6. Well, I’m glad I have a gravatar, and I think it is linked properly, although it has been a while since I’ve tweaked it, so it could probably use an update. So, if your philosophy about the like button is correct and if other people also feel that way, then I guess I need to become a fan of the like button. I’ve used it some – mostly when I want to do a return visit to someone who has followed or liked my blog and I don’t want to follow, but I want to acknowledge that I am thankful for their visit. If I really like their blog and think that there is a modicum of a chance that I will read it occasionally, then I follow them. Unless they totally freak me out by the type of content they post, in which case I discreetly slip out the back door and only leave a like on their most positive post….of course, if they really creep me out, then I don’t even do that. I have noticed that some people, like yourself, will like comments as well, so I guess that is part of the deal? So, maybe I’ll rethink the whole like button issue as it may be more important than I had at first thought.
    While we are on the topic, sort of, how do you feel about people who follow you just hoping that you will follow them back and you know they never read your post? Especially, when you have barely hit the publish button and you receive a notification that they have liked or followed your blog. You know they haven’t had time to read the post, even if they are a speed reader. That bother’s me a little because, although I want as many followers as possible – don’t we all? – I really want them to read my stuff. I mean, not obsessively, but come on, if you follow me, shouldn’t it be because something I said resonated with you and you think you might enjoy reading once in a while?
    Ok off the soap box now. I’m going to go and like this post, so that you can find me if you want to. Oh, and if you want to follow, but I’m not really your cup of tea, just forget all that mumbo, jumbo I said, and feel free to follow ;) Oh wait…. you are following me! Yea! He likes me! :) You always have good tips and I like the way you wind them with your humor that makes me read with bated breath waiting for you to get to the point. Ok, I’m really going to shut up now – I’m in a really weird mood today….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha ha…wow. This comment of yours looks like one of my stream of consciousness posts…but much more awesomer. As far as the “Likes,” I say go with whatever works for you. It seems that I’m pretty much opposite of you, though. I will follow just about anyone but I am a bit more selective on what posts I “Like.” But to be honest, I don’t really put too much thought into it. I just want to find and follow people who are interesting and who dare to be different and are able to do it in such a way that takes me by surprise from time to time…Not asking for that much, am I. :)

      I really appreciate your kind comments, Teresa, and I am very happy and proud to be a follower of yours.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I had no idea I had to do anything else to link my gravitar to my WordPress (and the graphic I’m seeing to the left of what I’m writing makes me feel I still didn’t get it right!) Thanks for the info–I’m going back into the breach now to see if I can fix it!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. (And don’t even get me started on the inadequacies of the infantile WP reader.) You had me at “If I Can’t Find You.” But your beyond-clever graphics sealed the deal.

    Marketing 101 is beyond many creative souls, and sigh, I’ve tried to help, encourage and model it for years. So too bad for them, makes more room for those of us who do get it. Not that we still don’t try (fruitlessly) to persuade them.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sounds like there is a Relating to Humans article with a possible follow-on guest post in there somewhere. :) My “pro” tip articles go through an alchemic transformation of sort as they usually begin as a frustration and end a cathartic release. But of course you understand that. Thank you for your kind and humorous comment, Jann. I truly appreciate it.

      Liked by 1 person


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