This is a Post About Rats

Ha ha… I know what you’re thinking…

No, this is not a post about that Rat.

If it were a post about that Rat, it would, instead, be entitled…

“This is a Post About Evil, Hate and Violence-Inspiring, Narcissistic, Misogynistic, Megalomaniac, Small-Handed, Big-Mouthed, Orange-Hued Rats.”

And it would be headlined with the following rat-like image:

Donald Trump

No, it’s just a post about those fuzzy-eared, less fascistly motivated kind.

You know…

The kind that annually around this time of year migrate from their homes in the surrounding fields and woods to invade my house en masse to breed prolifically and feed profusely on anything their little buck teeth can bite in to, which is just about everything, and then defecate indiscriminately everywhere that we least expect to but frequently do find it…

Yeah…

Thooose kind of rats.

And by “those kind of rats” I mean the cute, cuddly, teeny-tiny, doe-eyed little field mouse kind…

And by that I mean the kind innocent only in their appearance kind.

You know, the rat invasions weren’t so bad back when Jack Kerouac, our feline enforcer, was young and virile and always on the prowl…

Used to be he took such pride in his prowess that he would occasionally leave us a little trophy – typically a teeny little heart – from one of his nightly conquests.

Nothing quite compares to walking groggy-eyed into the kitchen and finding/stepping on a squishy little mouse heart first thing in the morning.

But those glory days of his are long past and the rats have been running roughshod, rampant, and in circles around him and our house for a couple of years now.

Nowadays, the old boy doesn’t even bother to leave his bed except for such frequent obligatories of his as food and toilet… only one of which he locates correctly with regularity.

Anyway…

It still wouldn’t be so bad, but since I live with others unlike myself who cherish all things living, especially such deceptively cute living things as the annual rodent home invaders of ours, I am forbidden to inflict any human inspired and/or induced harm against them and their terroristic tactics, which includes but is not limited to such unnatural harm as mouse (death) traps or rat poisons or even my large, maul-fisted fingers around their cuddly cute but scrawny necks.

Just about the only defense I had against them was waiting until I heard the little suckers rifling around in the kitchen trash and attempt to catch them in the act.

I would rarely catch them; however, in the rare times that I did, I would be obliged by all the household human animal lovers to trek the little suckers unharmed all the way out to the field as a sort of mandatory “catch and release” program.

But mostly I just listened to them all having a ball scratching around in my walls and appliances helpless to do anything.

Until one day out of sheer desperation and with no hope of success, I bought these:

 
And you know what…

To my complete and utter surprise and joy…

THEY WORK!

No, really.

We are already into winter and I haven’t heard or seen hair nor hide of the little sadistic suckers.

I cannot overstate too much how important these little magical electric repellers are to the quality of my life.

They really are a miracle.

No, really…

I’m totally serious… this time.

If you have a problem with rats, I strongly encourage you to rush right out, and by “rush right out” I mean click on the above product link/image, and buy those magical electric rat repellers.

Yes, indeed, life is once again grand because of them.

Now, I only wish such a product could be developed to repel that other repulsive rat of a Rat…

Anyway…

(I’m pretty sure you knew all along how this was going to end.)


*Yes, if you click the product link/image it will take you to Amazon. And yes, if you buy rodent repellers or anything while there after clicking the product link/image I will receive a small commission. And yes, I have absolutely no illusions that that will happen. It’s all done as most things are here… out of habit and desperation.


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