WHAT* IS THE ALTERNATIVE

ALTERNATIVE NEWS WITH ALTERNATIVE FACTS FOR OUR ALTERNATIVE REALITY

BREAKING: TRUMP TO APPOINT STEVE BANNON AS SECRETARY OF DEPARTMENT OF PUBLIC ENLIGHTENMENT AND PROPAGANDA

According to alternative high-level sources within the Trump Administration, President Trump will soon announce that, despite his freeze on the hiring of federal employees, he will be expanding the size of the government significantly to stand up what the alternative facts may prove to be the Department of Public Enlightenment and Propaganda. The alternative sources within the administration confirm that Mr. Trump will tap his Chief Strategist Steve Bannon, the man credited with creating Trump’s dramatic and successful transformation into a Alt-Right Populist candidate and now president.

RELATED: Trump’s Chief Strategist Says News Media Should ‘Keep Its Mouth Shut’

According to the sources, the idea for the new department came about after Bannon realized early on that regardless how popular Trump and his Alt-Right Populist movement was, the media would say or do anything to undermine him. And, paradoxically, the more the media discredited Trump and discounted his popularity, the more fervent his supporters’ support became for his populist message.

Bannon was also quoted as saying that once the new department has been established, he is keen on proving the veracity of one of Trump’s most outrageous claims during his candidacy by having the president actually shoot someone on Manhattan’s Fifth Avenue. Bannon predicts that not only will Trump not lose any supporters, but instead his popularity will grow ten-fold because of it, especially if the person Trump shoots is “one of those wussy liberal snowflakes.” He went on to say that the shooting could be pitched to the public as “a beautiful way to raise awareness to all the carnage gun violence is causing throughout the country or some other bullshit reason like that.”


*Because Who is on first.

 

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