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Needs no help from her ignorant and un-intellectual boss’ autocratic antics to appear like the fool she is…
(I know, instead of having fun I should be going off on the latest news about the gaining credibility of the Russian dossier on Trump, or that he and/or his team may have had colluded with Russia in their attempt to sway the election, or how he, Don the Deal Artisan Extraordinaire, just got rolled by the Chinese; however, I can’t get enough of these montage videos showing how ridiculous Trump is and I would love to see someone make a video of him binging in time with his accordion playing.)
Since we’re all inevitably doomed anyway, be it by a #trumpocalypse risen freedom eating zombie tomorrow, or by an angel-stroked sweet Good Night (God is Good, right… I mean, God is “good”, I suppose, but the word “good” also is “God” … Right? That’s where the word “good” came from, right? Directly from God? Right? Ah, good god maybe not…) fifty-years from now, we all might as well laugh together as we march happily toward our demise…
Ha ha… I know what you’re thinking…
No, this is not a post about that Rat.
If it were a post about that Rat, it would, instead, be entitled…
“This is a Post About Evil, Hate and Violence-Inspiring, Narcissistic, Misogynistic, Megalomaniac, Small-Handed, Big-Mouthed, Orange-Hued Rats.”
And it would be headlined with the following rat-like image:
No, it’s just a post about those fuzzy-eared, less fascistly motivated kind.
The kind that annually around this time of year migrate from their homes in the surrounding fields and woods to invade my house en masse to breed prolifically and feed profusely on anything their little buck teeth can bite in to, which is just about everything, and then defecate indiscriminately everywhere that we least expect to but frequently do find it…
Thooose kind of rats.
And by “those kind of rats” I mean the cute, cuddly, teeny-tiny, doe-eyed little field mouse kind…
And by that I mean the kind innocent only in their appearance kind.
You know, the rat invasions weren’t so bad back when Jack Kerouac, our feline enforcer, was young and virile and always on the prowl…
Used to be he took such pride in his prowess that he would occasionally leave us a little trophy – typically a teeny little heart – from one of his nightly conquests.
Nothing quite compares to walking groggy-eyed into the kitchen and finding/stepping on a squishy little mouse heart first thing in the morning.
But those glory days of his are long past and the rats have been running roughshod, rampant, and in circles around him and our house for a couple of years now.
Nowadays, the old boy doesn’t even bother to leave his bed except for such frequent obligatories of his as food and toilet… only one of which he locates correctly with regularity.
It still wouldn’t be so bad, but since I live with others unlike myself who cherish all things living, especially such deceptively cute living things as the annual rodent home invaders of ours, I am forbidden to inflict any human inspired and/or induced harm against them and their terroristic tactics, which includes but is not limited to such unnatural harm as mouse (death) traps or rat poisons or even my large, maul-fisted fingers around their cuddly cute but scrawny necks.
Just about the only defense I had against them was waiting until I heard the little suckers rifling around in the kitchen trash and attempt to catch them in the act.
I would rarely catch them; however, in the rare times that I did, I would be obliged by all the household human animal lovers to trek the little suckers unharmed all the way out to the field as a sort of mandatory “catch and release” program.
But mostly I just listened to them all having a ball scratching around in my walls and appliances helpless to do anything.
Until one day out of sheer desperation and with no hope of success, I bought these:
And you know what…
To my complete and utter surprise and joy…
We are already into winter and I haven’t heard or seen hair nor hide of the little sadistic suckers.
I cannot overstate too much how important these little magical electric repellers are to the quality of my life.
They really are a miracle.
I’m totally serious… this time.
If you have a problem with rats, I strongly encourage you to rush right out, and by “rush right out” I mean click on the above product link/image, and buy those magical electric rat repellers.
Yes, indeed, life is once again grand because of them.
Now, I only wish such a product could be developed to repel that other repulsive rat of a Rat…
(I’m pretty sure you knew all along how this was going to end.)
*Yes, if you click the product link/image it will take you to Amazon. And yes, if you buy rodent repellers or anything while there after clicking the product link/image I will receive a small commission. And yes, I have absolutely no illusions that that will happen. It’s all done as most things are here… out of habit and desperation.
You know, it being The Holidays and all, I thought I’d get at least one last happy post in before the Electoral Collage votes to elect as our new president an orange-tinted, small-handed, mean-spirited, race-baiting, violence-inspiring, self-gratuitous, megalomaniacal, grossly garrulous Grinch hell-bent on taking over the world via twitter.
Ho ho ho cough hack spit!
Have Yourself a Merry Nuclear Holocaust Christmas | KURTBRINDLEY.COM, Kurt Brindley, Pamela S, and 5 others are discussing. Toggle Comments
….provided one enjoys the smell of BS.
I mean, I love the fact that Melania Trump is in court today to attend a scheduling hearing for a defamation case to challenge the claim that she worked as a prostitute prior to her eventual gig as First “Lady.”
But, that’s not the hypocritical point I want you to smell; in fact, it’s not hypocritical at all as one would expect one like The Donald to associate regularly with working women within the so called oldest profession.
No, the hypocrisy I’m smelling is the old news which is resurfacing again today because of the court case about how Trump could blather on for so long during the campaign with all his racist and violence-inspiring BS about illegal immigration, and the whole time never addressing the fact that his defamed wife was an illegal immigrant around the time it was claimed (and later retracted) that she was a girl who could be called upon.
So that was fun, the whole hypocrisy as a nasty smell metaphor thing…
Speaking of fun. It’s going to be hilarious to watch live from the White House The Donald and Kanye reality show as it evolves over the next four years.
I wonder what real reality show it will be most like…
And I wonder how Steve Bannon and the rest of the Alt-Right goons will contort themselves into accepting Kanye into their klan…
*and afternoon, and evening, and… hell, let’s just say from dusk ’til dawn
Donald Trump attended the Army v. Navy football game yesterday – one of the oldest and most celebrated rivalries in all of U.S. sports. As a retired navy veteran, I’m sad to say that Army beat the Navy, something that hasn’t happened since 2001.
*Pretty awesome that I using Vonnegut’s fmaous asterisk to make note that I’m using his famous saying as well… Awesome, no?
Remember that Jeff Foxworthy shtick, You Might be a Redneck…
Well, I was wondering what you thought the punch lines would be to a similar (same?) question,
You Might be a Trump Supporter if…
The Happily Disgruntled Writer Reflects on the Opportunities the “New Economy” Provides for Writers…
To enlarge, click the image.
To read the article, click here.
A Short Film of Suspense and Danger
Starring Aurelius & Zeno
Photo attribution here