“PRO” TIP: HOW TO CUT DOWN ON MANUSCRIPT ERRORS; AND/OR, HOW TO GET MORE JOY OUT OF POETRY — GUARANTEED! (QUICK TIP #4)

frustrated-writer

Even though I have had two or three “PRO” Tips lined up in draft form for quite a while now, I feel compelled to get this one out before them, even though (Hmm, how ’bout that – two “even thoughs” in one sentence. If this redundant redundancy offends you, please submit your redundant complaints about the excessive redundancy in the sentence with the redundancy to my Department of Redundancy Department.) the motivation to write it overcame me after reading the comments to Leave it to me, a poem I recently published.

Now, I’m not going to discuss what the poem means to me (Hint: Insight to what the poem, or anything I publish here, just may mean to me can be gleaned from how I how I tagged it. (Confession: “The Essence of Tagging” is one of the “Pro” Tips lined up on deck.)) because – and my apologies for getting all Eddie Vedder on you here but… Continue reading ““PRO” TIP: HOW TO CUT DOWN ON MANUSCRIPT ERRORS; AND/OR, HOW TO GET MORE JOY OUT OF POETRY — GUARANTEED! (QUICK TIP #4)”

“PRO” TIP: HOW TO MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR WRITING RESOURCES — GUARANTEED! (QUICK TIP #3)

pen-and-magnifying-glass

If you include more than a combined fifteen (15) categories and tags in a post, the post will not show up in the WordPress Reader.

(Which is (or should be) every blogger’s worst nightmare since it essentially means the post is cast without regard unto the inescapable dark demented depths of the Place of the Unknown.)

 

BOOM!

QUICK TIP, PROPER!

And I bet you thought I couldn’t do it.

Am I right?

Yeah…

PEACE OUT

 

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What are you looking for?

I said I was done.

Done like the setting sun…

“PRO” TIP: HOW TO MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR WRITING RESOURCES — GUARANTEED! (QUICK TIP #2)

arrow-pro-tip

EXHIBIT #A - Click to Enlarge
EXHIBIT #A – Click to Enlarge

 

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Um…excuse me, but, before you leave there’s just one more thing I need to say…

I know, I know…I said I was done, but I just remembered something that, well, it’s kinda important and relevant to the above QUICK TIP…

In fact, it just might make it obsolete soon…

Because it seems to me that we are right smack dab in the middle of some evil apocalyptic transition from the wonderful and stylish and user friendly “old” format, the one I described in the exceedingly quick QUICK TIP above.

No, no, we’re done with that tip so the rambling that’s going on now shouldn’t count against it.

Right?

Well, okay, you have a point. You’re right, regardless how we attribute this time we’re having together, it is, right now, right as your eyes warily flow over these rant-like words, eating hungrily away at the time you have remaining on this rock of a roll of a planet.

I got it.

Let me just say this final bit and I’ll let you go…

Great.

So like I was saying, it seems that the WP team, the team that I thought loved us so dearly, is in the slow painful process of migrating us to a new layout, a not-so-pretty geeky looking layout that is clunky, and un-user friendly, and, as far as I can tell, has no handy dandy universal Search Bar, which, of course, if you’re anything like me, leaves us frustrated and a little panicky from having to figure out where the heck the Search Bar is for each site we visit.

Evil.

Pure evil.

I present to you EXHIBIT #2:

EXHIBIT #2 - Click to Enlarge
EXHIBIT #2 – Click to Enlarge

That exhibit of an oncoming disaster should really be curdling your wheys right about now…if you’re anything like me.

And don’t even get me started on WP’s There’s now an easier way to create on WordPress.com! Switch to the improved posting experience garbage.

What the heck is that mess?

I tried using that and it made me so mad I broke three brand new, hadn’t even been sharpened yet, pencils over my knee! At once!!

I don’t know what’s going on over at WP’s Automattic team.

I really did believe that they loved us.

Or…maybe Google is behind this…

You know, ever since they abandoned their “Do No Evil” slogan after making their first grazillion, I wouldn’t put anything past them…

Never know…

Anyway…

Okay…

I’m done…

Thank you for letting me release that.

I feel much better now.

The only problem is…

I’m not sure how to end this…what?

QUICK TIP addendum?

I don’t know how to do what all the crafty writers do…

You know…bring everything full circle and leave us all with a witty, call to action, inspiration of a conclusion.

Hmm…

(thinking)

Nothing…

So, I guess I’ll just say…so long?

So long then…

Oh yeah!

One last thing before you go…

I just gotta say, I don’t know who it was who raided my account and sprayed the anarchic graffiti all over the place, but I’m more than a little miffed about it!

And, I tell ya, that is definitely not my facial hair!

And I tell you what, again…

I think I have a pretty good idea just who might have been behind this violation of both the sanctity and purity of my site, as well as my artistic sensibilities and integrity…

Yeah…

I’m pretty sure it’s the disgruntled smoker who unbelievably (and, I’ll be honest, quite awesomely) trolled my innocent little ol’ poem for the children. No, really…dude trolled my “Filthy, Nasty Butts” poem. I encourage you to witness for your own pleasure and bewilderment his magical troll-like advice for me by clicking right here. (and while there, give him some Love by clicking the “Like” star for his comment…I pretty sure he needs some)
[“PRO” TIP #2 IS GERMANE…]

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

“PRO” TIP: HOW TO MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR WRITING RESOURCES — GUARANTEED! (Quick Tip #1)

typewriter-1

Looking for a way to stay socially engaged with your desperate fans (i.e., family and friends) without having to tab out of your WordPress edit box for fear of losing your poetic mojo?

Well…how about using your Site Title’s tagline as a status update?

I know, right…

For example, while I was writing this post I also had one eye on the television — it’s Tuesday, which of course means, The Voice.

But I really really wanted to get this “Pro” Tip out to my desperate fans (yes, yes, you’re right…i.e., my family and friends).

And I really really also wanted to remind my mother (who, no lie*, refreshes this site at least once every 5 minutes to see if I’ve released yet another Nobel Prize-worthy post (which to her, of course, is everything I write, which, of course, also means this post that you’re now reading is serious literary genius…to Mom) to watch The Voice because she missed it last week, which meant she had to facebook me like crazy to find out in excruciating detail exactly what silly antics silly Adam and silly Blake were up. Which meant, of course, I had to tab out to facebook to give her the lengthy lowdown in excruciating lengthy lowdown detail via facebook’s less-than-user-friendly messenger chat thingy.

Which, of course, meant…I wasn’t writing.

Well…I was writing to Mom, but you know what I mean…

I wasn’t writing writing.

But tonight…

No worries whatsoever.

Because tonight, I simply updated my Site Title’s tagline to read: Busy watching The Voice…Mom!

And life was good…

Mom saw my tagline status update right upon the completion of her 20:00 hour page refresh of my site and was able to watch for herself all the silly antics silly Adam and silly Blake were up to.

And I got to keep one eye on the television (okay, I admit it…I kinda have a bit of man crush on those guys just like everyone else) while my fingers were busy plucking the literary magic (at least by Mom’s measure) out of the keyboard.

Everyone’s happy…

I’m happy…

All my desperate fan’s are happy…

And, most importantly, Mom is happy (with visions of silly Adam and silly Blake dancing in her head (yeah, I better not take that illustration any further)).

So if you want to keep both the Writing Gods and your Desperate Fans happy at the same time…

Go to your Dashboard, click on Appearance, then click on Customize. You then will see a blue bar with a set of options take over the extreme right side of your screen. You’ll need to plow your cursor on over to the options in blue and click on Site Title. A black window will swing out where you can input both your Site Title and a Tagline. All you have to do now is fill that Tagline in with your current status (recommend keeping it both witty and pithy), click Save, and then click X and…

Just like that, you have your very own WordPress Status Update.

All without every having to tab away from your poetic mojo.

I know, right…

(Yes, I know there are other, potentially simpler, ways to update the tagline, but I wanted to leave us something to discuss in the Comments afterwards.)

And now all your desperate fans will always know what their most favorite Author in the world is doing.

And they will all love you forever*.

And they will all flock to Amazon to buy all of your books*.

Even that bizarre manifesto that started out as an email chain letter*.

And for each book they buy they all will write multitudes of raving five-star reviews*.

And all this magic will come about all because of the humble yet oh so versatile friendly little Tagline.

Thank you, Tagline.

Thank you, indeed.

 

*it’s a lie

 

What’s in your tagline?

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