When it comes to physical pain, it's purpose is hardly in question: It focuses us to where our immediate attention and action is required. We accidentally rest our hand on a hot, stove top burner and, without our sense of pain, our hand, if it weren't for our sense of smell, would become cooked well … Continue reading The Purpose of Pain
So... yeah. I've been having some chemo brain issues for quite a while now and I'm in search of interesting ways to build up my brain muscle to counter these "cognitive disorder" side-effects, as my neurologist so neatly calls them. I've never been a board game - or any game for that matter - kind … Continue reading My Chemo Brain Counter-Offensive
I may be mistaken, but it is my belief that we’ve all been to that dark, lonely place at least once or twice in our lives where we, and the lives we have led, seem... Insignificant. Less than. Pointless. It’s a scary place and one which I suspect, and hope, the majority of us visit … Continue reading The Power of About
Admittedly, with these newfangled campaign funding sites such as Indiegogo and Kickstarter, where they have their "Backers" or "FUNders" or whatever else they call those who give money to a money-raising campaign, me referring to my supporters as "Donors" seems a bit anachronistic. However, there is a very important reason as to why I do. … Continue reading On why I choose to refer to those who help fund my film as “Donors”…
On this day five years ago, I received the news that a recent lung biopsy showed that my lungs were inflicted with a severe form of graft versus host disease (GVHD) called bronchiolitis obliterans syndrome (BOS). BOS, I came to find out, was a known but uncommon side-effect resulting from a bone marrow transplant (for … Continue reading HOW NOT TO DIE: In 13 Easy Steps
(OR CARE FOR SOMEONE WHO IS) I'd like to think that one or two of my three regular visitors (one of whom is me) come to this site to gain a deeper understanding of my creative writing by exploring my short stories, and poetry, and my insightful and sometimes witty flash fiction, and, most importantly, … Continue reading If You’re Here You Must Be Sick…
Without even mentioning my slowly deteriorating and dying lungs, it’s bad enough that I have lost most of the feeling in my lower extremities due to the neuropathy that was brought on by all the chemo I got juiced up with to treat my leukemia, or that I lost most of my ability to smell or to taste to only our tight-lipped God know why (my doctors sure as hell don’t know), but, because of the reemergence of GVHD due to my decrease in prednisone dosage, do I really need to now start losing my ability to see, as well?
Do you think I really would have been able to pursue my life-long love of writing as aggressively as I am doing now had I not become stricken with cancer and then a chronic, debilitating lung disease? I think not...
And I don’t know about you, but for me, even sometimes at my old and calloused age, and no matter how times that old, dull saw “there’s no such thing as a stupid question” is drawn back and forth across my grainy, knot-holed brain, if I feel stupid about asking a question before I even ask it, then it is really hard for me to get up the gumption to get the stupid question out.
My recent appointment with my GVHD specialist was one of the most informative appointments I have had yet. Even though not all of the information was good, it all brought clarity to my treatment and came with a decisiveness of purpose. The good news is...
I know what I am experiencing is real, but it is just so hard to accept because the consequences are so big, so out of this world. The mind just cannot get itself all the way around it.
Ever since mid-December 2010, I have been getting light headed whenever I stand or lean over. A couple of times I have come pretty close to passing out. The last checkup I had the doc took my blood pressure lying down and it was 135 over 70 something. He then had me stand up and … Continue reading Stimulating News
There have been many o’ mornings throughout my life that I have laid in bed, fighting with the snooze button on the alarm clock, wishing that something would happen in my life that would make work go away forever. We all know the old saw: Be careful what you wish for because you just might … Continue reading Wishful Thinking
As I’ve tweeted in the past, I’ve contracted both acute and chronic Lung Graft Versus Host Disease as a result of my April 2010, Bone Marrow Transplant. For clarity’s sake, or perhaps to confuse things even more, I think it is important to be more specific in naming my lung disease. In my lab reports … Continue reading Lung GVHD by Any Other Name
There has been much news lately about how the Transportation Security Authority’s new screening procedures are upsetting the traveling public and, to be honest, all of the whining is getting on my nerves. On the one hand, we demand our government guarantee us a safe, bomb-free air travel experience, yet we don’t want to utilize … Continue reading I Want To Know
If you're like me, you've probably never witnessed a bone marrow biopsy procedure before. That's right, even though I've had more procedures done to me than I care to remember, I have never actually seen the procedure being performed on me. This is because, 1. I always have to lie on my stomach, and 2. … Continue reading A Bone Marrow Biopsy
Warning: This is potentially a TMI post. Read at your own risk! Before my cancer and all the chemo, I saw myself similar to how Ricky Bobby saw himself in the movie Talladega Nights: I’m just a big hairy American winning machine, you know. That was me. I was confident, happy, had a wonderful family, … Continue reading Hair
I have been poking around writing, and thinking about writing, my book for nearly ten years now. It has been a long and mostly frustrating process where progress came only in fits and spurts. To be honest, I thought I was never going to finish it. But then along came my leukemia diagnosis and an … Continue reading Book Update #1