On why I choose to refer to those who help fund my film as “Donors”…

Admittedly, with these newfangled campaign funding sites such as Indiegogo and Kickstarter, where they have their "Backers" or "FUNders" or whatever else they call those who give money to a money-raising campaign, me referring to my supporters as "Donors" seems a bit anachronistic. However, there is a very important reason as to why I do. …

No Sense, Whatsoever

Without even mentioning my slowly deteriorating and dying lungs, it’s bad enough that I have lost most of the feeling in my lower extremities due to the neuropathy that was brought on by all the chemo I got juiced up with to treat my leukemia, or that I lost most of my ability to smell or to taste to only our tight-lipped God know why (my doctors sure as hell don’t know), but, because of the reemergence of GVHD due to my decrease in prednisone dosage, do I really need to now start losing my ability to see, as well?

Exploiting the Crisis

Do you think I really would have been able to pursue my life-long love of writing as aggressively as I am doing now had I not become stricken with cancer and then a chronic, debilitating lung disease? I think not...

Ask the Question, I Dare You

And I don’t know about you, but for me, even sometimes at my old and calloused age, and no matter how times that old, dull saw “there’s no such thing as a stupid question” is drawn back and forth across my grainy, knot-holed brain, if I feel stupid about asking a question before I even ask it, then it is really hard for me to get up the gumption to get the stupid question out.

Caffeine Therapy – Update #2

My recent appointment with my GVHD specialist was one of the most informative appointments I have had yet. Even though not all of the information was good, it all brought clarity to my treatment and came with a decisiveness of purpose. The good news is...

Denial

I know what I am experiencing is real, but it is just so hard to accept because the consequences are so big, so out of this world. The mind just cannot get itself all the way around it.

Caffeine Therapy

I was a late bloomer as a coffee drinker. Though I always loved its smell growing up---I still have vivid, fond memories of the bubbly coffee percolator sounds and the delicious coffee smells that I woke to every morning as a child---I found its taste repulsive and the heated spoiled crap breath that all coffee drinkers blast out even more so. I didn't want to be complicit in that.

I Want To Know

There has been much news lately about how the Transportation Security Authority’s new screening procedures are upsetting the traveling public and, to be honest, all of the whining is getting on my nerves. On the one hand, we demand our government guarantee us a safe, bomb-free air travel experience, yet we don’t want to utilize …

Book Update #2

On the night of October 12, 2010, the eve of my hallowed wedding anniversary, I worked through the final revisions to the third draft of my novel, the story I had been fitfully writing and, at times, reluctantly engaged to, for the past seven and a half years, and hesitantly, but thankfully, declared it completed. …

Hair

Warning: This is potentially a TMI post. Read at your own risk! Before my cancer and all the chemo, I saw myself similar to how Ricky Bobby saw himself in the movie Talladega Nights: I’m just a big hairy American winning machine, you know. That was me. I was confident, happy, had a wonderful family, …

Chemo

It seems to me that the word "chemotherapy" is one of those rare words that can instantly conjure up fear and images of pain and suffering, similar to words like "Holocaust" and "September Eleventh." Perhaps those comparisons are not exactly appropriate (and bordering on bad taste), but my point is, just hearing the word chemotherapy …

Our Cancer Year

BOOK | NON-FICTION | GRAPHIC NOVEL | HEALTH OUR CANCER YEAR by Harvey Pekar RATING: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ I have been neck-high into the medical establishment since my leukemia diagnosis in November 2009. Consequently, while I do not consider myself an expert of the establishment by any stretch of the imagination, I do …

Test Results

Email from Kurt's doctor: The bone marrow biopsy report is not back. However, all the news thus far is excellent. His bone marrow flow cytometry shows no leukemia cells. The most sensitive test for detecting leukemia is the BCR-ABL PCR. This result came back as undetectable (meaning no leukemia). These are excellent results. Sincerely, [Kurt's …

One Night

dilantin-induced hallucinations busulfan and fludarabine-laced dreams black outs and cold sweats It’s 2:00 a.m. There is a blue glow to the room as I lie on my back trying to sleep. I’ve been trying to sleep for a long time. My toes burn and my back is hot. My skin itches. The black motion of …