Denial

Even now, nearly a year and a half later, it still seems that my whole experience with leukemia isn’t real, that it just could not have possibly have happened to me.

Something of this magnitude only happens to other people.

I know what I am experiencing is real, but it is just so hard to accept because the consequences are so big, so out of this world. My mind just cannot get itself all the way around it.

How I feel about it is how I imagine one would feel during an out-of-body experience.

And I feel the same way about my lung disease, perhaps even more so because the data is so sobering.

And I feel exactly the same way about the disaster in Japan.

If you have spent any time at all on this blog, you know that Japan is just as much a part of me as is my arm, or kneecap, or heart, or any other part of me.

Just as with the leukemia and the lung disease, or as it would if I were for some reason to lose an arm, my mind is just not accepting the fact that so much tragedy has fallen on Japan.

The horror that I am witnessing on the television and the internet cannot possibly be happening to the country I know so well and love so much.

Something of this magnitude only happens to other countries.