There’s something I really need to tell you…

But, in all honesty…

I’m a little scared…

I am afraid that when I tell you about that which lays so heavily on my heart…

You will immediately lose all respect for me…

And end our friendship…

But it’s really something I have to do…

Something I have been yearning to do for some time now…

But society says it’s bad…

That good boys and girls should never, ever do this…

That it’s against “the law”…

The “law”…

Who makes these “laws” anyway…

The pious…

The pedant…

You know, those kind…

The beautiful ones…

The ones oh so righteous

And the ones oh so true…

Just tell me…

Why do these hypocrites have the right to tell me how I should direct my love…

Every single one of them…

Hypocrites…

They, themselves, are constantly doing exactly that which they so fervently condemn…

They don’t think I see them wallowing in their hypocrisy…

But I do…

They, in all their self-righteousness, are no better than me…

Or you…

And yet they think they can, with the stroke of their red pen…

Or with the stinging criticism of their lashing tongue…

Keep us perfectly in our place…

Directly in their control…

Like the little lambs that we are…

The lemmings…

And for so long, they have done just that…

Because I have let them…

I have let them have power over me…

I have suppressed all that I so strongly desired just so I could abide their “laws”…

And reap their favor…

And their praise…

How I longed to not love that which I have loved for so long…

That which was strictly forbidden to me…

But tonight…

Right now…

I revoke their power…

And assume it for myself…

Tonight, right now, I have the power…

And with that power I will openly declare my love for that which they forbid…

That which for centuries has been considered evil and taboo…

Literally, to them, a mortal sin…

But tonight I shall rise up

Tonight I shall break the conventions of normalcy…

Tonight I shall shed the chaffing shackles of oppression and humiliation…

Tonight I shall boldly and unabashedly declare my love and my devotion…

My all and my everything…

To the alluring, the sexy…

The more than a little naughty…

The compulsively and completely addictive…

The one thing that I am happily head over heals for…

And desperately in love with…

The Adverb.

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About Kurt Brindley

He is tall but he hopes to accomplish more in life than just that...
This entry was posted in Culture, Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

28 Responses to There’s something I really need to tell you…

  1. As a staunch defender of the adverb’s right to exist, I understand where you’re coming from. When I see some writer use bad grammar in order to avoid adverbs, I want to metaphorically hit that person with the metaphorical cyber-fish I keep around for hitting annoying people.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. herdthinner says:

    I see that they are positively very, very necessary

    Liked by 1 person

  3. J says:

    Oh dear — don’t let Stephen King hear you say this! ;)
    Loved it — unashamedly :)

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Aquileana says:

    Rad and truly well penned!.

    Fantastic post. Best wishes to you,

    Aquileana :D

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I sometimes blog against adverb-hate…

    http://northofandover.wordpress.com/2014/09/22/a-brief-observation-about-adverbs/

    Short version: If it modifies a verb, it’s an adverb. NO ONE can completely avoid adverbs, because even words like “not” and “yet” and “however” are adverbs. Anyone who claims that they never use adverbs is either a liar or grossly uninformed as to what an adverb actually is (’cause “never” IS an adverb).

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Penticular says:

    This whole story is telling when, were and why, I’m an artist , writing man laughing because of this eureka moment. Thank You Kurt for the concept of something new.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I was terribly concerned about you as I read feverishly. Then I laughed heartily. Can you tell, I love adverbs passionately? ;)

    Like

  8. mckarlie says:

    I thought this piece was going in a very different direction, you have great control in your writing. Kudos :)

    Liked by 1 person

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