Weird moods such as…
As do weird modern remakes of classic Moody Blues mood music…
#newisnotalwaysbetter
grammar humor
I and Me Confusing You and Yours
Still confused about the whole “me” or “I” thing, I see.
Listen, just slapping “I” in every sentence where there is a need for a pronoun for you isn’t going to make you seem smarter, my friend.
It will make you seem just the opposite to those who know the rules…
So what is the rule when it comes to “me” versus “I” usage?
Grammatically speaking, when you are the subject of a sentence, use “I.” When you are the object of a sentence, use “me.”
Yeah, I know… so what that means for you and me in plain English/American:
Simply take out the other name(s), noun(s), or pronoun(s) listed in the sentence with you and use whichever pronoun for you (I or me) you would normally use in the same sentence without them.
For instance:
A copy was given to Rick, Steve, and (me/I).
Copy is the subject. The people are the objects.
Without Rick and Steve in the sentence we would easily know to say:
A copy was given to me.
So, the correct sentence would read:
A copy was given to Rick, Steve, and me.
Another example:
Betty, Jane, and (me/I) are going to the library.
The three people are the subjects.
Without Betty and Jane, we of course would say:
I am going to the library.
So, the correct sentence would read:
Betty, Jane, and I are going to the library.
Piece of cake, right?
Of course it is. But that means you’ll have think (to do the grammar math) first before you speak so that may continue to cause you/us some problems.
Anyway…
Follow this simple grammar hack and you and me will get along just fine, my friend.
😉
me
There’s something I really need to tell you…
But, in all honesty…
I’m a little scared…
I am afraid that when I tell you about that which lays so heavily on my heart…
You will immediately lose all respect for me…
And end our friendship…
But it’s really something I have to do…
Something I have been yearning to do for some time now…
But society says it’s bad…
That good boys and girls should never, ever do this…
That it’s against “the law”…
The “law”…
Who makes these “laws” anyway…
The pious…
The pedant…
You know, those kind…
The beautiful ones…
The ones oh so righteous
And the ones oh so true…
Just tell me…
Why do these hypocrites have the right to tell me how I should direct my love…
Every single one of them…
Hypocrites…
They, themselves, are constantly doing exactly that which they so fervently condemn…
They don’t think I see them wallowing in their hypocrisy…
But I do…
They, in all their self-righteousness, are no better than me…
Or you…
And yet they think they can, with the stroke of their red pen…
Or with the stinging criticism of their lashing tongue…
Keep us perfectly in our place…
Directly in their control…
Like the little lambs that we are…
The lemmings…
And for so long, they have done just that…
Because I have let them…
I have let them have power over me…
I have suppressed all that I so strongly desired just so I could abide their “laws”…
And reap their favor…
And their praise…
How I longed to not love that which I have loved for so long…
That which was strictly forbidden to me…
But tonight…
Right now…
I revoke their power…
And assume it for myself…
Tonight, right now, I have the power…
And with that power I will openly declare my love for that which they forbid…
That which for centuries has been considered evil and taboo…
Literally, to them, a mortal sin…
But tonight I shall rise up…
Tonight I shall break the conventions of normalcy…
Tonight I shall shed the chaffing shackles of oppression and humiliation…
Tonight I shall boldly and unabashedly declare my love and my devotion…
My all and my everything…
To the alluring, the sexy…
The more than a little naughty…
The compulsively and completely addictive…
The one thing that I am happily head over heals for…
And desperately in love with…
The sadly shunned…
The fatuously forsaken…
The miserably misunderstood…
My Subjunctive Mood Always Brings Me Down
If I was were a less sensitive grammarian, then I would care less whether my grammar were was more or less correct. However, if it was were true that I were was a less sensitive grammarian, would it then mean that I were was a less caring person?
The Past, the Present, and the Future walk into a bar…
It was tense.
#internetspotting
#grammarhumor